If I could add to my Previous Post I would add one additional “Least favorite thing”......I promise this gets Spiritual…just read.
11. I really dislike it when people throw up around me. I mean one minute I’m sitting at work minding my own business, typing up a report for my boss, then, all of a sudden… out of the corner of the classroom there comes this…..**open mouth gag** ….followed by another **open mouth gag** and I just close my eyes and think to myself, “I have one of the smallest classrooms in this school. There are enough smells already lingering in this tiny, storage closet of a room… if this kid throws up in here, on my floor, I am going to seriously consider renting a ninja to take this kid, his Air Jordan backpack, and his vomit, to a secluded area in the jungle to dispose of all three of them.” Luckily there was a trash can within my reach. I instinctively jumped to my feet, grabbed the can and hurled it towards the heaving individual. And on the third **open mouth gag**….it all came tumbling down…I was just in the nick of time!!!....I of course thought to myself, “wow…I don’t need to rent a ninja….I am a ninja…and he should really learn to chew those chocolate donuts more.”
This of course got me thinking about throw-up and how different people approach it. As far as I know, there are three schools of thought concerning “vomiting”:
1. I Have To Vomit As Quickly As Possible to Get It Out and Over With – these people understand that usually when they vomit they instantly feel better. When they feel it coming. They run to the toilet, and force themselves to look at the inside rim. The vomit quickly arrives. Then they get up. Take a few deep breaths, brush there teeth and go on about their day! My wife falls into this category. I envy her and anyone else who belongs here.
2. I Vomit because it is easier than Buying all those Slimfast Shakes. That is not even funny and you need to get some help.
3. I Vomit only when it is the LAST POSSIBLE OPTION and I can no longer hold it down!!! – Unfortunately I fall into this category. I would rather be absolutely miserable all day long, sometimes multiple days instead of doing what I know is going to eventually have to be done anyway. It hurts to throw up. It’s hard to breathe, it’s smelly and embarrassing. Who would willingly go do that??? even if they knew it was going to help???
Waiting on the Spiritual Application?????? Here it is:
I wish we would view SIN like MY WIFE views vomiting.
I know it’s inside of me festering and I hate it. I have to get it out as quickly as possible so that I can get on with my life.
The problem is we usually view sin more like I view vomit. That is: Even though I hate it and know it is eventually going to have to go. I know it will hurt to get rid of it, so I am going to hold onto it as long as I can. I instead choose to continue to live in pain and hurt because I know if I get rid of it, it is going to be painful and hurt.…….WOW. That doesn’t even make sense when you read it on paper. But that’s what we do.
Jesus Said The wages of sin is death. He also tells us that he himself is like my wife when it comes to throwing up… Revelation 3: 15-16 “I know your deeds that you are neither Hot nor cold. I wish you were one or the other. Because you are lukewarm, I will vomit you out of my mouth.”
He is not going to let your sin linger in his presence. It's going to make Him hurl. I Promise. Neither should we let it linger in ours… get it out…..throw it up.
Tuesday, February 23
Friday, February 19
These are a few of my least favorite things:
Move over Mr. Rogers and Mr. Hammerstein II. Step aside Julie Andrews. I mean seriously… whose favorite thing would ever be the whiskers off a kitten… that’s just sick.
Here is my top ten least favorite things….at least for today: (in No particular order)
1. Changing a flat tire in the middle of winter at night without a good flashlight, a decent lug wrench, gloves, or knowledge of how to lower the spare from under the van. Here’s a hint…you have to lift up the carpet behind the passenger seat and locate a nut…why didn’t I think of that?!?!
2. Picking dog poo out of your shoe with a stick. I put in the “with a stick” part because 9 times out of 10 that is the only thing that is around that you would actually want to use to get it out with. Wiping it in the grass only does so much. Scraping it on the step….ditto. The worst part actually comes several hours after you have first stepped in it. You have wiped off as much as you could in the grass and prayed that the people at work are not going to notice the faint odor coming from your general direction. Then a few hours later you remember “Oh yea…I still have lingering poo on my shoe that is probably dry now and needs to get scraped off completely” so you go outside and find….the stick, and begin chiseling away. This is the worst part for me. The smell returns and fills your nostrils again, people are walking by looking and smiling or laughing…..it’s humiliating and embarrassing. You find you self silently cursing about dogs and wildlife in general (yes even you Christians…. “That darn dog. I’d love to kick the heck out of him! I don’t give a rip what they say, SUGARFOOT!! ” does that sound familiar???) ….anyway It has to go on my list
3. Using words like ‘sugarfoot’ to try to make cursing a more Christian experience. This in my opinion reflects an attitude that needs to change much more then the need for a different word bank. It annoys me…especially when I do it myself.
4. Beets. Those things are nasty. Partly because they almost look good to the eye. They are red and sort of shiny and juicy…like a wonderful piece of fruit. But when you take a bite you realize that it is actually a horrendously indescribable piece of “nasty” camouflaged in enticing greatness. The thought sickens me. I’ll bet that’s what the fruit in the Garden of Eden tasted like….. “Surprise that’s what you get for disobeying my only command!!!”…yes I know a beet is a vegetable.
5. Losing a 5 dollar fishing lure. I know that doesn’t seem like a lot, but trust me it will ruin an otherwise perfect day very quickly
6. Hearing public testimonies from someone clearly and publicly living in sin about how God is really working in their life and blessing them and helping them minister to people, and blah blah blah… Forgive me if that sounds judgmental…but seriously, those are only believable for about 2 seconds. What I dislike about those the most though is that they make God look so bad. “Yes I’m living in habitual sin and everyone knows it but God doesn’t mind, see He Helped me get this great boyfriend…his name is Butch…well, at least that’s what the tattoo on his face says. Praise the Lord! It is so Great to be a Christian!”
Sure God is Merciful and Patient….He is also Holy and Just.
7. Snow day letdowns- see previous post below.
8. Accidently changing the channel to ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’ and inadvertently getting the theme song stuck in your head for 4 days. “*Bang bang *Chitty Chitty Bang Bang* our fine four fendered friend*” Ha ha!!!! See how you like it!
9. Unforgiveness- Seriously, I see more people on their way to hell because of un-forgiveness in their hearts then anything else (see Matthew 6:15) I know from personal experience how hard it can be to forgive….Oh but it’s so worth it! And I’m not just talking about Heaven… the weight that gets lifted off of your shoulders is indescribable. Someone once said “Forgiveness is setting a prisoner free and then realizing that the prisoner was you.” They were right.
10. realizing that it is really hard to make a list of my least favorite things
Have a great weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOO HOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here is my top ten least favorite things….at least for today: (in No particular order)
1. Changing a flat tire in the middle of winter at night without a good flashlight, a decent lug wrench, gloves, or knowledge of how to lower the spare from under the van. Here’s a hint…you have to lift up the carpet behind the passenger seat and locate a nut…why didn’t I think of that?!?!
2. Picking dog poo out of your shoe with a stick. I put in the “with a stick” part because 9 times out of 10 that is the only thing that is around that you would actually want to use to get it out with. Wiping it in the grass only does so much. Scraping it on the step….ditto. The worst part actually comes several hours after you have first stepped in it. You have wiped off as much as you could in the grass and prayed that the people at work are not going to notice the faint odor coming from your general direction. Then a few hours later you remember “Oh yea…I still have lingering poo on my shoe that is probably dry now and needs to get scraped off completely” so you go outside and find….the stick, and begin chiseling away. This is the worst part for me. The smell returns and fills your nostrils again, people are walking by looking and smiling or laughing…..it’s humiliating and embarrassing. You find you self silently cursing about dogs and wildlife in general (yes even you Christians…. “That darn dog. I’d love to kick the heck out of him! I don’t give a rip what they say, SUGARFOOT!! ” does that sound familiar???) ….anyway It has to go on my list
3. Using words like ‘sugarfoot’ to try to make cursing a more Christian experience. This in my opinion reflects an attitude that needs to change much more then the need for a different word bank. It annoys me…especially when I do it myself.
4. Beets. Those things are nasty. Partly because they almost look good to the eye. They are red and sort of shiny and juicy…like a wonderful piece of fruit. But when you take a bite you realize that it is actually a horrendously indescribable piece of “nasty” camouflaged in enticing greatness. The thought sickens me. I’ll bet that’s what the fruit in the Garden of Eden tasted like….. “Surprise that’s what you get for disobeying my only command!!!”…yes I know a beet is a vegetable.
5. Losing a 5 dollar fishing lure. I know that doesn’t seem like a lot, but trust me it will ruin an otherwise perfect day very quickly
6. Hearing public testimonies from someone clearly and publicly living in sin about how God is really working in their life and blessing them and helping them minister to people, and blah blah blah… Forgive me if that sounds judgmental…but seriously, those are only believable for about 2 seconds. What I dislike about those the most though is that they make God look so bad. “Yes I’m living in habitual sin and everyone knows it but God doesn’t mind, see He Helped me get this great boyfriend…his name is Butch…well, at least that’s what the tattoo on his face says. Praise the Lord! It is so Great to be a Christian!”
Sure God is Merciful and Patient….He is also Holy and Just.
7. Snow day letdowns- see previous post below.
8. Accidently changing the channel to ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’ and inadvertently getting the theme song stuck in your head for 4 days. “*Bang bang *Chitty Chitty Bang Bang* our fine four fendered friend*” Ha ha!!!! See how you like it!
9. Unforgiveness- Seriously, I see more people on their way to hell because of un-forgiveness in their hearts then anything else (see Matthew 6:15) I know from personal experience how hard it can be to forgive….Oh but it’s so worth it! And I’m not just talking about Heaven… the weight that gets lifted off of your shoulders is indescribable. Someone once said “Forgiveness is setting a prisoner free and then realizing that the prisoner was you.” They were right.
10. realizing that it is really hard to make a list of my least favorite things
Have a great weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOO HOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, February 8
Al Gore Would Be So Proud!!
How many of you recycle?? I’m not talking about the bin at work that you are required to put scrap paper in, or the shoe box that you use to store photos in…
I wanna know where your milk jugs and cereal boxes are going.
Let me pose this question: Is it possible to be a Christian without caring about the earth?
And is it possible to say, “Yes. I care about the earth” and mean it when you can’t even make time to separate your plastic from the rest of your trash?!!
I have never been concerned about the environment. In fact I used to regularly throw things out the window of the school bus. My mom taught me littering was wrong, so to appease her, I would simultaneously yell to the hillside, “Hey could you throw that away for me???” as the coke bottle or whatever else went bouncing down the highway.
Then when I got a little older I started noticing cigarette butts on the road. It thoroughly grossed me out. I also noticed coke bottles and other garbage littered up and down the roads. I was starting to evolve……
Then I started doing mission work in Haiti. It was there that I finally realized why we should be concerned about the environment. The garbage in Haiti is piled in the streets. The smell would…like my grandpa would say… “knock a fly off the poo poo wagon”. I started to realize, “hey this could happen in America just like it has happened here.
I still didn’t do anything about it until my wife declared, “no more throwing away plastic. We are going to recycle!” I said, “Cool! How much money do you get??” (The answer by the way….is none.)
Someone much smarter than me once said, “We have not inherited the earth from our grandparents, but have borrowed it from our grandchildren.”
Listen
I’m not talking about standing front-and-center at a global warming rally…..so much of that is utterly ridiculous…. But what I am talking about is being very real and very practical and very respectful.
Usually if you even mention “helping the earth” to people they automatically assume you’re a tree huggin, Gore groupie who voted for John Kerry, drives a Toyota Prius, hates conservatism, and boycotts deodorant and anything that runs on any energy other than solar winds
I don’t know where you stand on this issue. You may not see the importance since we all know that the earth is going to be destroyed eventually anyway… but look at it like this:
We preserve and honor the pictures and crafts that our children make with their hands, yet mistreat and disrespect the creation that our Lord spoke into being.
Have a blessed day!
I wanna know where your milk jugs and cereal boxes are going.
Let me pose this question: Is it possible to be a Christian without caring about the earth?
And is it possible to say, “Yes. I care about the earth” and mean it when you can’t even make time to separate your plastic from the rest of your trash?!!
I have never been concerned about the environment. In fact I used to regularly throw things out the window of the school bus. My mom taught me littering was wrong, so to appease her, I would simultaneously yell to the hillside, “Hey could you throw that away for me???” as the coke bottle or whatever else went bouncing down the highway.
Then when I got a little older I started noticing cigarette butts on the road. It thoroughly grossed me out. I also noticed coke bottles and other garbage littered up and down the roads. I was starting to evolve……
Then I started doing mission work in Haiti. It was there that I finally realized why we should be concerned about the environment. The garbage in Haiti is piled in the streets. The smell would…like my grandpa would say… “knock a fly off the poo poo wagon”. I started to realize, “hey this could happen in America just like it has happened here.
I still didn’t do anything about it until my wife declared, “no more throwing away plastic. We are going to recycle!” I said, “Cool! How much money do you get??” (The answer by the way….is none.)
Someone much smarter than me once said, “We have not inherited the earth from our grandparents, but have borrowed it from our grandchildren.”
Listen
I’m not talking about standing front-and-center at a global warming rally…..so much of that is utterly ridiculous…. But what I am talking about is being very real and very practical and very respectful.
Usually if you even mention “helping the earth” to people they automatically assume you’re a tree huggin, Gore groupie who voted for John Kerry, drives a Toyota Prius, hates conservatism, and boycotts deodorant and anything that runs on any energy other than solar winds
I don’t know where you stand on this issue. You may not see the importance since we all know that the earth is going to be destroyed eventually anyway… but look at it like this:
We preserve and honor the pictures and crafts that our children make with their hands, yet mistreat and disrespect the creation that our Lord spoke into being.
Have a blessed day!
Friday, February 5
A Thought On Marriage
You're getting a short one today. If you could see what my classroom looked like you would know why!!
HERE WE GO.....
I’m married, and if you are too, then statistically speaking, one of us is going to get a divorce.
I’m not writing that to be sensational, but I just want to be clear that it’s a big deal. And I don’t know if we Christians do a very good job of treating it as such.
Look at it this way: if one out of every two neighbors on your street got mauled by a bear, would you be more careful about bears? Would you buy books on how to keep your house safe from bears? Would you carry a gun and bear spray if there were, in fact, such a thing as bear spray? Probably. Yet, when it comes to divorce, we don’t do many equivalent things.
Valentines day is coming….that would be a great time to Bear proof the house a little. How have you Bear proofed in the past?? Leave a comment. We all want to know!!!
HERE WE GO.....
I’m married, and if you are too, then statistically speaking, one of us is going to get a divorce.
I’m not writing that to be sensational, but I just want to be clear that it’s a big deal. And I don’t know if we Christians do a very good job of treating it as such.
Look at it this way: if one out of every two neighbors on your street got mauled by a bear, would you be more careful about bears? Would you buy books on how to keep your house safe from bears? Would you carry a gun and bear spray if there were, in fact, such a thing as bear spray? Probably. Yet, when it comes to divorce, we don’t do many equivalent things.
Valentines day is coming….that would be a great time to Bear proof the house a little. How have you Bear proofed in the past?? Leave a comment. We all want to know!!!
Thursday, February 4
Maybe I'm Wrong
Yesterday’s bible study made me totally rethink the idea of the infamous “Help Committee” at many churches. (This is the group usually responsible for deciding whether or not a family or individual asking for money from the church will get it.)
I know if I insert my own words too much in this post….I might take some heat!! So instead I will just quote a few verses from scripture and let your minds do the rest.
Psalm 37:25 “…I have not seen the righteous forsaken, or His children begging for bread.”
Oh MY GOSH!!! What a powerful verse!
Pair that verse with this one Proverbs 30:8 “Keep Falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but only my daily bread.
I think we live in a time where we believe that only having our “daily bread” is not nearly enough. We look at our pantry and think, “I have to do something Quick we are almost out of food”(usually in my house that means “we are almost out of food that we like” and we run out and try to take care of everything ourselves. God is saying that He wants to take care of it and that actually…having only your daily bread- is not a problem at all. (This principle goes soooo far beyond the need for food, by the way) However, we make it a problem when we spend our money on things we don’t need and even on things we know we shouldn’t be involved in the first place.
I will also reiterate the above verse when it says that the righteous are not forsaken and that His children don’t have to beg for bread.
In all of my experience with seeing people put their hand out, (my experience, I will admit is not much) I can usually always trace it back to one of my new favorite verses in the bible, Psalm 37:25 “I have not seen the righteous forsaken, or His children begging for bread.” That may seem judgmental to some, but it’s the truth because it is written in the book of truth. The question then becomes “How do we fix it???” the answer in my opinion is “quit handing out money until you first hand out What it means to Righteous and to live daily as “His Child”. Maybe I’m wrong.
I know if I insert my own words too much in this post….I might take some heat!! So instead I will just quote a few verses from scripture and let your minds do the rest.
Psalm 37:25 “…I have not seen the righteous forsaken, or His children begging for bread.”
Oh MY GOSH!!! What a powerful verse!
Pair that verse with this one Proverbs 30:8 “Keep Falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but only my daily bread.
I think we live in a time where we believe that only having our “daily bread” is not nearly enough. We look at our pantry and think, “I have to do something Quick we are almost out of food”(usually in my house that means “we are almost out of food that we like” and we run out and try to take care of everything ourselves. God is saying that He wants to take care of it and that actually…having only your daily bread- is not a problem at all. (This principle goes soooo far beyond the need for food, by the way) However, we make it a problem when we spend our money on things we don’t need and even on things we know we shouldn’t be involved in the first place.
I will also reiterate the above verse when it says that the righteous are not forsaken and that His children don’t have to beg for bread.
In all of my experience with seeing people put their hand out, (my experience, I will admit is not much) I can usually always trace it back to one of my new favorite verses in the bible, Psalm 37:25 “I have not seen the righteous forsaken, or His children begging for bread.” That may seem judgmental to some, but it’s the truth because it is written in the book of truth. The question then becomes “How do we fix it???” the answer in my opinion is “quit handing out money until you first hand out What it means to Righteous and to live daily as “His Child”. Maybe I’m wrong.
Wednesday, February 3
I out-thunk myself again!!!!!
I refuse to pay a hundred dollars for a pair of shoes.
I am not picky, hard to please, or a cheapskate. I just simply cannot throw a hundred dollars at something that usually cost less than 4 dollars to produce. (Don’t ask me where I got that number, I think I heard it on Oprah once). Granted, I do wear shoes a lot-usually every day. Not only that but I also hardly ever spend money on anything else wardrobe related. In fact, I still wear jeans that I wore in High school. Sure they are much tighter and I am not going to be making any sudden movements, (i.e. anything other than walking slowly and sitting very slowly). To spend a hundred dollars on shoes or any other “one article of clothing” sounds very….um….. Un-Christian to me.
I would rather Dive all over town (ten dollars worth of Gas, not to mention the bad mood I am in when I go home empty handed), then pack up the whole family for an impromptu trip to Evansville (another ten dollars in gas, not to mention the price of the restaurant we now have to eat at because, seriously, how often do we get the chance to eat at a place that is not available in our home town. Bill=30 bucks.) All this in order to get all the way over to Evansville then find the perfect pair of shoes! (Except for the fact that they cost 30 dollars more then I had originally planed on paying in the first place).
So the breakdown looks like this:
I want 50 dollar shoes. That is a reasonable price Right????
+10 dollars gas around Owensboro
+10 dollars gas to Evansville.
+30 dollars Food
+30 extra for the “perfect pair”
Oh my….
I paid 130 dollars for my shoes. That is unacceptable. I would take them back, but that would cost too much money. When you see them…pray for me.
I am not picky, hard to please, or a cheapskate. I just simply cannot throw a hundred dollars at something that usually cost less than 4 dollars to produce. (Don’t ask me where I got that number, I think I heard it on Oprah once). Granted, I do wear shoes a lot-usually every day. Not only that but I also hardly ever spend money on anything else wardrobe related. In fact, I still wear jeans that I wore in High school. Sure they are much tighter and I am not going to be making any sudden movements, (i.e. anything other than walking slowly and sitting very slowly). To spend a hundred dollars on shoes or any other “one article of clothing” sounds very….um….. Un-Christian to me.
I would rather Dive all over town (ten dollars worth of Gas, not to mention the bad mood I am in when I go home empty handed), then pack up the whole family for an impromptu trip to Evansville (another ten dollars in gas, not to mention the price of the restaurant we now have to eat at because, seriously, how often do we get the chance to eat at a place that is not available in our home town. Bill=30 bucks.) All this in order to get all the way over to Evansville then find the perfect pair of shoes! (Except for the fact that they cost 30 dollars more then I had originally planed on paying in the first place).
So the breakdown looks like this:
I want 50 dollar shoes. That is a reasonable price Right????
+10 dollars gas around Owensboro
+10 dollars gas to Evansville.
+30 dollars Food
+30 extra for the “perfect pair”
Oh my….
I paid 130 dollars for my shoes. That is unacceptable. I would take them back, but that would cost too much money. When you see them…pray for me.
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